


Black Market Christmas

by beltainefaerie



Category: Sherlock - Fandom
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Ugly Holiday Jumpers, Ugly Holiday Sweaters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-06
Updated: 2017-02-06
Packaged: 2018-09-22 13:32:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9609611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beltainefaerie/pseuds/beltainefaerie
Summary: John would never have imagined he'd owe his happiness to an ugly Christmas jumper.





	

**Author's Note:**

> For Simply_Isnt_On and HumsHappily, who were there when I was searching for a John jumper for cosplay purposes and happened onto these awful Christmas ones instead. This ridiculous fic was born.

John stopped short as he entered the flat. There, draped over the back of his chair was a brightly colored knitted monstrosity. A naked Santa figure leered up at him from his place stretched out by the fire, a red and green wrapped package hiding his… package. "Sherlock, what is that thing?”

"An ugly Christmas jumper, do keep up, John."

"I can see that, but what is it doing in our flat?"

"The case, John. We have to have ugly Christmas jumpers or they won't let us in tonight. It's our only chance to catch them." Sherlock said, his tone so scathing that the word 'obviously' would have be redundant.

"But-" John began, before Sherlock cut him off.

"Honestly, you wear hideous jumpers all the time. I never thought you'd object to this part of the case."

"My jumpers are _not_ hideous, “John said emphatically, “And furthermore none of them make me look like I want to shag St Nick!"

“Oh,” Sherlock paused, grabbing the offending garment, and slipped it over his head. “This one’s mine.”

John goggled at him a moment, taking in the full effect. The banner at the top that said ‘One Night Only,’ the roaring fire, the bottle of wine, the polar bear skin rug, which had been hidden when the sweater was rumpled on the chair. And it lit up, some kind of battery powered fairy lights embedded in the knit. _If that is Sherlock’s, what fresh hell is lurking somewhere in the flat for me?_

Sherlock walked off and returned with a shopping bag. He pulled out a bundle of red and handed it over. It looked like Father Christmas, if one ignored the tacky added beer bottle fitted into his belt and some sort of candy cane boutonniere. 

“Of course we could switch if you’d rather.”

“Ta. No, I think I’ll stick with this one. It’s not so bad, really.” John slipped into it. It was surprisingly soft. Not bad at all. Of course Sherlock would show him the ugliest jumper in the world first. Nearly anything would look good by comparison. The wanker. His lips curved up in a slight smile, but it dropped away as Sherlock reached into the bag once more. John scowled as he took in what Sherlock held in his hands. 

A hat. Not just any hat. A truly ridiculous Santa hat, compete with knitted beard.

“I was hoping you’d say that. You’re recognisable. The blog, you know.” 

“ _I’m_ recognisable?”

“Yes,” Sherlock said, as though his face hadn’t been over half the newspapers in London over the past year, but continued, ”I can blend in, but you aren’t exactly a master of disguise.”

John ignored the jibe for the moment, not that he could argue with it at any rate. “But Sherlock. You realize this makes me Father Christmas.”

“I am aware, yes."

“And your jumper…” Sherlock actually paled. No small feat, all things considered. 

John sat down heavily, letting out a small, “Oh,” as everything slotted into place. 

Sherlock looked away. After a moment, he said, “I never thought you’d…” _make the connection_ went unsaid as Sherlock trailed off, pacing in front of John’s chair. “They’re just jumpers. Stupid, hideous jumpers. I just chose a couple of them. Random. Really. And it was the only way we could...”

“Sherlock,” John said, reaching out to still him, his hand resting on Sherlock’s hip. John licked his lips, gazing up at his flustered flatmate. “Shh. You’re babbling. You don’t babble. And you _don’t_ do anything randomly.” 

Sherlock closed his eyes and swallowed hard.

“Come here,” John said, tugging him down. Sherlock came to rest on his knees in the V of John’s spread legs, so their faces were level, but he looked uncharacteristically skittish, like he might bolt at any moment. 

John cupped Sherlock’s jaw. “I’m glad I caught on, so I can do this,” John leaned in slowly, so slowly, giving Sherlock plenty of time to correct him or to move. Sherlock did neither, leaning in to John’s touch and then they were kissing. Hesitant at first, then deeper, losing themselves in this moment. 

They pulled back, both looking a little dazed. 

“Okay?” John asked. Sure, Sherlock had gone with it, but that could just be data for him. 

“Idiot,” Sherlock said, with quiet fondness. “Much more than ‘okay’. Perfect, even.” 

Sherlock kissed him once more and John wished they could stay in the moment forever. Of course they couldn’t, though. There was a case after all.

They broke apart and Sherlock reluctantly said, “It’s half six already.”

“We can pick up when we get back, yeah? Shouldn’t take long,” John said, knowing even as he said them that they sounded like famous last words. Some of the cases they thought would be fairly simple wound up taking days in the end. Hopefully, though, they’d be back here in each other’s arms tonight.

“Gladly,” Sherlock said, straightening his clothes before he artfully tousled his curls

John cleared his throat, dragging his eyes away from Sherlock’s mouth. “So this case, then? What have you discovered?”

“The Met doesn’t exactly have time to curtail the black market for small batch microbrews and organic vegan hemp pastries that are being imported without paying proper tariffs. The drugs they’re trading in, however, warrant our attention. The key players in the operation will be in this bar in Shoreditch tonight and who knows when we’ll be able to catch up with them again. They’re highly tech savvy and difficult to track.”

“Right, so…”

Sherlock smiled broadly as he threw on an old, strategically rumpled coat instead of his usual Belstaff. “The game is on!”

John smiled too, shaking his head at their ridiculous adventures. He slipped on his old trainers, grabbed the stupid beard hat, and followed, looking forward to the chase almost as much as he was looking forward to stripping Sherlock out of the gaudy jumper when the got home. 

Years later, John would cite this as his favorite case. Though The Black Market Christmas was the blog title he ran with, he always thought of it as The Ugly Jumper that Uncovered Sherlock’s Heart.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to HumsHappily for the encouragement and betaing and to Tiger_in_the_fligthdeck for betaing as well.
> 
> In case you really must have these horrid jumpers, they can be yours on Amazon.
> 
> [Sherlock's Jumper](https://www.amazon.com/Ugly-Christmas-Sweater-Romantic-Light-Up/dp/B01KVX9ORU/ref=sr_1_52?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1485934315&sr=1-52&nodeID=1044442&refinements=p_n_size_three_browse-vebin%3A2475470011%2Cp_36%3A2661613011%2Cp_n_size_browse-vebin%3A2343348011%7C2343361011&psc=1)
> 
>  
> 
> [John's Jumper ](https://www.amazon.com/Ugly-Christmas-Sweater-Santa-Bottle/dp/B0143ORJYS/ref=pd_sim_193_2?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&ref502430W02AJ8Q44RCW97RID=)  
> 
> 
>  
> 
> [John's knitted beard ](https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B01M3PX4C0/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1505479308&sr=8-1&pi=AC_UL420_SR280,420_QL65&keywords=knitted+beard+santa+hat)
> 
>  
> 
> Feel free to come say hi or follow me on [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/beltainefaerie)


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